The Vibrating Bed Pitfall happens when you think that if the sex is good, a great relationship will follow. The pleasure and passion of such encounters causes you to become attached to your partner; therefore you think you are in an actual committed relationship rather than a "friends with benefits" or "hooking up" situation.
The Shiny Object Pitfall happens when you get into a committed relationship mainly based on feelings of chemistry or attraction. You think the person is a great choice and you are destined to be together. A break up results when you realize that the special sizzle is gone and you try desperately to get it back, but realize you cannot.
The Better Than Nothing Pitfall occurs when you believe that having ANY-One is better than having no one because being alone is a terrible alternative, you take what you can get and settle for less. This results in attempts to change your partner and mold him into what you want, causing friction and relationship failure over time. The Made Up Marriage Pitfall is when you jump into being an "instant couple" because you believe that if you make a commitment to someone you're dating, a loving and happy relationship will follow.
You push to move in together and try to make the relationship work. You think that it will all be worth it and there will be a happy ending if you can just get over the hurdles that all couples face. The Prince Charming Pitfall happens when you expect the love of your life to magically appear and you'll both live happily ever after without any active effort on your part.
You believe that finding your soul mate will just "happen" only to find yourself feeling even more lonely and unloved. The Meant for Each Other Pitfall happens when you have fun together, have a few things in common, and enjoy each other's company.
You assume you are compatible and therefore, dive into a committed relationship too fast. You ignore the areas of incompatibility because your focus is completely on the ways you are meant for each other which blinds you from seeing them. You find out too late that there is a difference between someone who is fun to be around and someone that you want to spend your life with and when the fun stops, the result is a breakup.
Written by Dar Hawks. Dar inspires singles and couples to create and have happy relationships with her logical success-minded, and quick results approach to love, dating and relationships. To learn the other Dating Pitfalls enroll in one of her courses for single women at the website link below.
Comments Add A Comment. I run when they ask What kind of car do you drive? Do you own your own home? What is your credit score? What they are asking is How much money you have I tell them I take the bus. I live in a apt. And don't have a credit card. That weeds out the GD's fast There was a man sitting at the sushi counter who was just paying so he walks by and sees that I am trying very hard to decide and he says "It's all delicious!
He proceeds to say "Hi, I'm Mario. Can I sit down? Mario was born in the US, but grew up in Croatia. I am so confused that all of this is going on I am just sitting there in disbelief. Mario asks why I am making this face and I said "It isn't everyday a stranger asks to join my table.
I say I don't have a boyfriend true because I work long hours and it is hard to meet people in the city true. I mean you're cute and you're confident and I was walking by and you just, you just smelled smart. Mario the Croatian continues to make small talk and I continue to try and deflect questions about where I live or where exactly I work by making gross generalizations. I finish my sushi and Mario requests the check. My little sushi guy says "one check or two?
Actually, I have to go and get my laundry. I just stopped in to have a quick bite while my clothes are drying and I was going to read. But I will walk you to the Beer Garden. He gives me his number and says I should call him. He does not get my number, real or fake.
I walked to the laundromat, got my laundry out of the dryer, and walked a mile around my neighborhood with my laundry bag on my shoulder before going home, just in case I was being followed. I smell smart and get free sushi. Posted by Miss Disastress at 5: Thursday, September 18, The Musician and the Mathematician [new guest post!
An NYC-dwelling friend of mine -- let's call her Philomena -- recently filled me in on the ups and downs of the singles scene in the big city. Here's a story worthy of a DD post, to be sure. But I am not the girl that normally grabs every man's attention in a bar. I kind of like it that way because I can sit there, enjoy my beverage with friends, and blend in just enough as to not get bothered by every meat head in a pub.
I also can strike up pleasant conversations. These conversations go along nicely and then it comes up that I work and enjoy working in and listening to classical music and that can be a conversation killer. Who really listens to "The Nutcracker" or the "Moonlight Sonata" all the time? Give me something off beat like "Jenufa. If you are going to say Beethoven, give me Fidelio or Waldstein.
I fully admit I'm a judger. By now in my life, I have been in enough pubs that I can kind of assess situations like when I or one of my friends is being checked out by a sketchy person, when to intervene You know, the usual.
So one evening, a group of girl friends of mine went out to one of our favorite little no-frills bars to catch up since we hadn't seen each other in a month or so.
At some point, I realized that I was being shadowed by a kind of nerdy, sketchy guy and I just was not in the mood to mingle. I was out with friends and enjoying their company, so I went into avoidance mode. Somewhere along the way, I lost track of where my shadow was and turned around only to come face to face with him. Now, in this split second, I thought, "I need to shut this down. I work in classical music. Without hesitation he said, "I'm a mathematician. Far more boring than I will ever be.
And I was stuck talking about fractals for the rest of the evening. Posted by Miss Disastress at Wednesday, July 9, "Have you got a boyfriend? Just as Bridget Jones must assuage even her own father's incredulity, I keep having to assure my loved ones -- and myself -- that I am in a real, non-disastrous relationship.
As part of my self-reassurance and in keeping with ethical behavior, I must take a hiatus of undetermined length from blogging about my dating life. But don't worry -- I intend to keep Dating Disasters going strong. If you don't know my e-mail address, simply tell us your story in a comment below. Posted by Miss Disastress at 9: Wednesday, May 28, Miss Disastress: It's been nearly a month since I updated this now-neglected blog, and my, these times they are a-changin'.
I am now most definitely dating Mr. OkCupid 4, and all is going pretty swimmingly. As for the fact that I am a Jesus Freak and he is not, I'm not going to lie -- while it's an occasional frustration, I'm not going to pretend that it has proved monumentally disruptive in our short-term, agno-Christian relationship. Maybe this observation is evidence of immaturity in my faith, but for the purposes of this blog, I aim for honesty rather than false piety.